“It is ironic that cell phones,
During the pass years, I could barely keep up with the number of TV shows depicting the devastating effects of the smart phone or cell phone and social media. I have seen movies where a person's relationship went from the honeymoon state to homelessness and eventually, it led to death. Due to constant use of the the mighty "cell phone". One show depicted a scene, where a young girl was killed while parents argued about the husband spending too much time on the phone. Needless to say, guilt caused the marriage to have a tragic end..
I am just wondering, how many of us are really aware of the strain cell phones, i phones, texting, etc, are placing on our relationships. All messages presented electronically seem somehow urgent. Cell phones ring and jingle, ding and vibrate, making themselves hard to ignore. Have you ever caught yourself getting up from your family dinner or worse, stopping mid-prayer to read a text or answer your phone?
I'm sadden to admit that we indeed live in the Communication Age, but because we live here, we shouldn't let it cause us to neglect important relationships. The most important relationship, we as humans have, is the one with our life partner, or spouse. However, I place that relationship in second place to our relationship with God. YET, we are risking destruction of both by "phubbing".
I read about that term a few months ago and it just added fuel to my disdain for "facebook", along with so many other forms of social media. In the article I read, "Phubbing,"is defined as the practice of snubbing others in favor of our mobile devices, in particular our mobile phones. In other words, it is phone snubbing. Combining the two words, we get "phubbing".
If you were to take an inventory of the time you spend on the phone when you are home with your spouse or even "out" with your spouse or significant other, what would that look like in percentages of your time? Let's say you were having a night out with your "boo", how many times did you answer your cell phone? Or, you were at home having dinner-- did you place your phone on the table between you and your spouse? How many times did it ring and you answered? Yes, you ARE "PHUBBING!
We all have been privy to "phubbing", as either VICTIM or PERPETRATOR. Now the sad part of this is we no longer even notice when we are being "phubbed" or doing the "phubbing". This practice has become a norm... a daily and continual part of life.
Recent research studies are revealing the profound impact phubbing can have on our relationships and well-being. Research also found that phubbing decreases marital satisfaction, in part because it leads to conflict over phone use. Worse still is the fact that in decreasing marital satisfaction, phubbing contributed to greater feelings of depression. Phubbing causes one to feel ignored and unimportant to the "phubber".
How does phubbing shape our casual friendships? We are suppose to be attuned to others, right? But without being a psychologist or psychiatrist, when a person's eyes wander, we instinctively know the mind is wandering as well. So how does that make one feel? We feel unheard, disrespected, disregarded.
So, what's my point? Phubbing impacts those being phubbed regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, or mood. When you are on the phone, you are not looking at the other person. If you are not looking at the person, how will you read facial expressions? How will you see tears in their eyes, frowns, or smiles. How will you notice their body posture? Are they slumped and sad or excited and enthusiastic? Will your inattentiveness cause a young child to be injured by getting into something that could harm or kill them? Simply because you are focused ONLY on your phone conversation?
NO WONDER "PHUBBING" HARMS RELATIONSHIPS.
Let me get to the point. Here's my main thought. If we are phubbing those we can see and hear, what are we doing to GOD? Yes, we are easing Him out of our lives as well. You are on the phone sooooo much, you can't find time to be in God's presence.
Think about this: God doesn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us. He even sacrificed His Son for Us. His Son is now in His presence sticking up for us as we ignore the One who created and continues to loves us. We drive a wedge between God and ourselves when we are obsessed with all of the social media stuff. Yet, when we need his attention, we want it right NOW!
There is a song entitled, "Jesus is on the main line, tell Him what you want." My question to you is WHO'S ON YOUR MAIN LINE? If your answer is not God, then who or what is? If your phone is dominating your life, think about what that is doing to your children, your spouse, your friends. More than those with whom you have an earthly relationship, what is that doing to your relationship with God?
WHO IS ON YOUR MAIN LINE? Think on that! Your wife, children, family and GOD are so eager to have a personal, meaningful conversations, and a personal relationship with you. What are you waiting for? Put that phone down and really hear what your spouse is saying. Develop a quiet time and talk to God. Call HIM up. Get Him on your main line? Don't make phubbing your habit for the remainder of 2019. If you must be a"phubber", be a "phubber" for God!
This is my prayer!
Father, we thank You for the gift of speech and the gift of your written WORD/ The Bible. Forgive us for being more addicted to our phones and social media, than we are to YOU! Forgive us for being more eager to hear and read what other people have to say than we are to read your WORD and to get You on our "mainline". Holy Spirit help us to refocus our time and thoughts to Our Father in 2019. Father, Your prodigal children want to come back to You! Thank You for your grace and your mercy. Amen.
To God Be All The Glory!
Elaine J. Jones